When lumberjacks first came to northern Minnesota to cut the pines and send them downriver, they had no idea what they would find in the forest. Apparently the bears and porcupines and pileated woodpeckers weren't bizarre or scary enough, because the loggers developed a mythology of their own. They told stories of an animal with lips so big it stepped on them if it tried to graze: a hard-headed splintercat that smashed trees in search of honey, and the dreaded agropelter, which smacked unwary woodsmen on the head if they wandered into its territory. Mainstreet Radio's Catherine Winter reports.

THE ARGOPELTER

Have you ever been walking in the woods and were startled when a small branch suddenly came crashing down towards you out of nowhere? While you may have thought it a coincidence, you more than likely just had a run-in with an Argopelter.

Also known as Didelphis Vulgaris Americanus, the Argopelter may or may not be a rare animal. It is hard to be certain of the species’ population count since they are extremely reclusive and stealthy creatures. The last recorded specimen to have been captured was in 1854 by a lumberjack named Elijah Dunlop, who described it in a letter as ‘A monstros rodential beaste, gifted at heaving forth sticks of woode with neigh great force and accuracy faire lethale'.

Piecing together such bits of folklore, scientists speculate the Argopelter to be an offshoot of the Opossum and/or Squirrel, but with greater upper body strength and possibly opposable thumbs. They prefer to spend their time in trees, and tend to nest in areas with an ample supply of easily breakable branches, such as a stand of Firs or similar evergreens.
While not especially aggressive, the Argopelter has developed a unique way of defending its territory when it feels threatened. As stated in the observations of Mr. Dunlop, the creature will hurl branches towards any perceived intruder. Depending on the age and experience of the specimen encountered, these missiles can be wildly off target, or accurate to the point of poking an eye out.

The saving grace of this potentially dangerous behavior is that Argopelters are more or less cowards. After throwing one or two sticks, they tend to go into hiding in their trees and wait for the danger to pass. Still, when you're out for a hike and hear the sound of falling branches, it is a good idea to head in the opposite direction. An Argopelter may be waiting for you ahead. You can see the argopelter near the three in the left. Very small.

THE SQUONK

The Squonk (Lacrimacorpus dissolvens) is a legendary creature from the Hemlock forests of north-central and north-western Pennsylvania. The earliest stores about the squonk are lost to history, but the legend probably dates back at least to the late 19th Century, when Pennsylvania's importance in the lumber industry was at its peak, relying heavily on hemlock trees.

Squonks are very shy, very ugly animals. Their skin is ill-fitting, and covered with warts and moles. Because they know they are so ugly, they weep almost constantly, and try to avoid being seen.

The one well-known story about squonks has to do with how they are hunted. Apparently, squonk skin is valued by some, but they are very difficult to catch, because of their extremely retiring nature. They can be most easily tracked on nights with a full moon, when their tears form glistening trails on the ground.

Sometime around the year 1900, a man named JP Wentling was able to successfully catch a squonk. Mr Wentling followed a trail of tears, and when he heard a nearby squonk weeping under a hemlock tree, he lured it by imitating the creature, presumably by weeping. He caught the squonk in a bag, and carried it home, while it sobbed pitifully in his sack. As he carried his prize home, he suddenly noticed that the bag was lighter, and on opening it, found that there was nothing inside but tears and bubbles.

Squonks will apparently dissolve completely into tears anytime they are cornered or threatened; this is the source of their scientific name, Lacrimacorpus dissolvens, from the Latin words for 'tear', 'body', and 'dissolve'. Someone who saw the Sqonk drew an accurate picture of it.

THE BILLDAD (Saltipiscator falcorostratus.)

       If  you have ever paddled around Boundary Pond, in  north-west  Maine,  at  night you  have  probably heard  from  out  the black  depths of  a cove a spat like a paddle striking  the  water. It  may  have been a paddle, but the chances are ten to one  that It  was  a  billdad  fishing.  This  animal occurs  only on  this  one pond,  in  Hurricane Township.  It is about the size of  a  beaver, but  has  long, kangaroo-like hind legs, short front  legs,  webbed feet,   and  a  heavy,  hawk-like  bill.   Its  mode  of  fishing  is  to crouch  on  a  grassy  point overlooking the  water,  and  when  a trout  rises  for  a  bug, to leap with amazing  swiftness  just  past
the  fish,  bringing  its  heavy,  flat  tail  down  with  a  resounding smack   over  him.   This  stuns  the  fish,  which  is   immediately picked  up  and  eaten by the billdad.  It has been  reported  that sixty yards is an average jump for an adult male.############
     Up to three years ago the opinion was current among lumber jacks  that  the  billdad was fine eating, but since the  beasts  are exceedingly shy and hard to catch no one was able to remember having  tasted  the  meat.  That fall one was killed  on  Boundary Pond  and  brought  into the Great Northern  Paper  Company's camp  on  Hurricane Lake, wher the cook made a  most  savory slumgullion   of  it.   The  first  (and  only)  man  to  taste  it   was Bill  Murphy,  a tote-road swamper from Ambegegis.  After  the first  mouthful  his body stiffened, his eyes glazed, and  his  hands clutched  the  table  edge.  With a wild yell he rushed  out  of  the cook-house,  down  to the lake, and leaped clear out fifty  yards, coming  down  in a sitting posture---exactly like a billdad  catching  a  fish.   Of  course, he sank like a stone.  Since  then  not  a lumber  jack  in  Maine will touch billdad meat, not  even  with  a
pike pole.

THE JACKALOPE

The jackalope is an antlered species of rabbit, unfortunately rumored to be extinct, though occasional sightings of this rare creature continue to occur, suggesting that pockets of jackalope populations continue to persist in its native home, the American West.

The jackalope is an aggressive species, willing to use its antlers to fight. Thus, it is also sometimes called the "warrior rabbit."

Jackalopes possess an uncanny ability to mimic human sounds. In the old West, when cowboys would gather by their campfires to sing at night, jackalopes would frequently be heard singing back, mimicking the voices of the cowboys. Jackalopes become especially vocal before thunderstorms, perhaps because they mate only when lightning flashes (or so it is theorized).

When chased, the jackalope will use its vocal abilities to elude capture. For instance, when chased by people it will call out phrases such as, "There he goes, over there," in order to throw pursuers off its track. The best way to catch a jackalope is to lure it with whiskey, as they have a particular fondness for this drink. Once intoxicated, the animal becomes slower and easier to hunt.

Jackalope milk is particularly sought after because it is believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac (for which reason, the jackalope is also sometimes referred to as the 'horny rabbit'). However, it can be incredibly dangerous to milk a jackalope, and any attempt to do so is not advised. A peculiar feature of the milk is that it comes from the animal already homogenized on account of the creature's powerful leaps.

Douglas, Wyoming has declared itself to be the Jackalope capital of America because, according to legend, the first jackalope was spotted there around 1829. A large statue of a jackalope stands in the town center, and every year the town plays host to Jackalope Day, usually held in June. Jackalope hunting licenses can be obtained from the Douglas Chamber of Commerce, though hunting of jackalopes is restricted to the hours of midnight to 2 a.m. on June 31.

Douglas Herrick, a long-time resident of Douglas, Wyoming, is often credited with popularizing knowledge of the Jackalope. In the 1930s Douglas and his brother Ralph began selling mounted Jackalope heads to the public, and these became wildly popular. Examples of their work can be found in many bars and homes throughout the United States. Jackalope postcards also became a popular Western souvenir. Douglas Herrick died on January 6, 2003 at the age of 82.

The jackalope is now most commonly sighted in the states of Colorado, Wyoming, and Nebraska. However, the jackalope does appear to have a European cousin, which in Germany is known as the wolperdinger. In Sweden, a related species is called the skvader.