Yesterday when I called my Mum, what she said make me feel sad. they do not understand me, nobody understand me except my nice brother. they complain and blame. no encourage. I feel that they are dissappoint at me. but I'm dissppointed too. all what I did and what I do is for them,but they don't know it. I feel sad about this.

This is hard for me, I have to endure something,I need time to do something. Chinese New year holiday is coming soon, I don't want to go back home for the festival, but I'm afraid that they will worry about me, I don't know what shoud I do.

I have to tell myself that do not care what others saying, just go your own way, if you want to be success, you have to suffer more pain than others, you have to endure more tough things than others. life is not easy.you have to be strong and patient. but easy to say, difficult to do. what shall I do? what shall I do?

Sometimes, I want dissappear, to somewhere that nobody know me, but I have my family, I can not let them worry about me, I have the responsibility to take care of them, escape is not the wise choice, brother asked me to be brave,yes, I have to be brave. brave enough to face everything.