Since I started to find new job, it has been almost one month passed. now I start working in a joint-venture company since this week. I'm happy that  I find my way and return to the society,start my new life even thought this is just the beginning.

During this month, sometimes I almost lost my direction, I didn't know how to make decision. some companys who I knew asked me to join them. I knew I need to think and find the right place.

However, it was good to know myself better during this month, I can think very carefully and analysis myself. The first step was to change the bad habit that like sleeping too much and to get up very early in the morning to breath the fresh air and doing morning exercise. Time is life, How can I waste it?

What should I do now is work hard, I have to get up at 6:00am in the morning, and crowd to the bus to company like fighting every morning. but this is life. no matter what, just do the best,  no matter what, enjoy the work, enjoy the life..........

　有时候我觉得自己是一只小鸟
 想要飞却怎么也飞不高
 也许有一天我攀上了枝头却成为猎人的目标
 我飞上了青天才发现自己从此无依无靠
 每次到了夜深人静的时候我总是睡不着
 我怀疑是不是只有我明天没有变的更好
 未来会怎样究竟有谁会知道
 幸福是否只是一种传说我永远都找不到
 我是一只小小鸟
 想要飞呀却飞也飞不高
 我寻寻觅觅寻寻觅觅一个温暖的怀抱
 这样的要求不算太高

Sometimes I feel myself like a little bird

Want to fly but couldn't fly high

Maybe one day I fly to the top branch and become the target of the hunter

Fly too high and found that I'm alone and helpless

I could not fall asleep in the deep night

I doubt that maybe only me, didn't get better

Nobody knows what will happen in the future

Happiness is only legend or what,I could not find it

I am a little bird

Want to fly,but couldn't fly high

I'm looking for a warm hug

Am I asking too much?

Yesterday when I called my Mum, what she said make me feel sad. they do not understand me, nobody understand me except my nice brother. they complain and blame. no encourage. I feel that they are dissappoint at me. but I'm dissppointed too. all what I did and what I do is for them,but they don't know it. I feel sad about this.

This is hard for me, I have to endure something,I need time to do something. Chinese New year holiday is coming soon, I don't want to go back home for the festival, but I'm afraid that they will worry about me, I don't know what shoud I do.

I have to tell myself that do not care what others saying, just go your own way, if you want to be success, you have to suffer more pain than others, you have to endure more tough things than others. life is not easy.you have to be strong and patient. but easy to say, difficult to do. what shall I do? what shall I do?

Sometimes, I want dissappear, to somewhere that nobody know me, but I have my family, I can not let them worry about me, I have the responsibility to take care of them, escape is not the wise choice, brother asked me to be brave,yes, I have to be brave. brave enough to face everything.

Yesterday was my birthday, I didn't expect to have a party or what else. Just like normal day. My brother from korea came and celebrate the birthday for me, I appreciated for everything he did for me. I will not forget.

We had good time and full enjoy the music till midnight, I'm happy, because all of them are nice to me, especially my brother. I feel like to be spoiled and feel safety. but the moment when we apart, I felt a little bit sad, I can not describe the feeling. but I enjoyed the time that we were together.

Brother said that I have very good destiny and will be very rich in the near future, he always praise me and encourge me, so I need to work hard and grow up. I should not let my family and people who loves me dissappoint. Come on, Mary............. 

Since work alone, I have the habit that will open the music when I get up and start working. sometime I love the happy music, sometimes I love sad music which can make me think deep. after broken up with ex-boyfriend, I never forgot him till the day that he told me that he has the new girlfriend. I felt disappointed and sad, but I know that I should pray for him, and I have to give up all the hope to be with him. If he will be happy, I will be happy for him.

Recently,I fall in love the song <Love Paradise>, I love its nice melody, especially its lyric. touching lyric.

you're always on my mind
all day just all the time
you're everything to me
brightest star to let me see
you touch me in my dreams
we kiss in every scene
i pray to be with you
through rain and shiny days
i'll love you till i die
deep as sea wide as sky
the beauty of our love paints rainbows
everywhere we go
need you all my life
you're my hope you're my pride
in your arms i find my heaven
in your eyes my sea and sky
may life be our love paradise

I wish I can meet such kind love in the near future, but now I know that I can not, Just pray to god that everything will be okay.

This week is a little bit hard, since back from business, something changed,after the long business in the factory, I do not have much confidence in the company anymore, but I didn't aware that they would decide to delete the office in shanghai, I should know it earlier or they should tell me earlier for I can arrange something earlier. but nothing, I have to do many things this week, what the urgent is to find the nice house to live. but it's not easy to find nice house in such short time.

I felt ashamed that most of my friends get married and have their own house or car, but now still I need to rent the house and sometimes need to move due to some reason. what's wrong with me?

Thanks to my korean brother, he gave me some confidence in doing something, He talked to me everyday, I know he wants to help me, but I'm the girl who do not want the help from others, I'd rather do it by myself even it's tough. I will try my best.....